J’ai trouvé les écrits d’Etienne Chomé sur ‘Tends l’autre joue. Ne rends pas coup sur coup. Mt 5, 38-42’ fort édifiants. Cela ma pris dix minutes de lecture et m’a donne quelques heures de réflexion. Combien de fois ai-je entendu ses paroles : Oeil pour Å“il et dent pour dent. Et moi je vous dis de ne pas résister au méchant. Au contraire, si quelqu’un te gifle sur la joue droite, tends-lui aussi l’autre. À qui veut te mener devant le juge pour prendre ta tunique, laisse aussi ton manteau. Si quelqu’un te force à faire mille pas, fais-en deux mille avec lui. À qui te demande, donne ; à qui veut t’emprunter, ne tourne pas le dos » (traduction TOB de Mt 5,38-42). Etienne Chomé en fait une lecture à travers son filtre de praxéologique du siècle présent.  Sa conclusion que je reproduis ci-après est à mon avis  extra et donne à réfléchir aux artisans de paix.

Conclusion

L’exégèse en première partie a dégagé le raisonnement suivant : non seulement la justice (œil pour œil), mais même sans répondre à la violence  par la violence. A six reprises, dans les antithèses du SM, Jésus radicalise la loi donnée par Dieu au peuple d’Israël. Le parcours historique a montré que la Tradition s’est toujours plus préoccupée de justifier le raisonnement : oui aux exigences de Jésus en Mt 5,39-42 mais seulement dans tel ou tel sens. Oui à la non-violence mais elle est seulement réalisable par les parfaits catholiques ou les élus de la grâce protestants. Oui mais elle n’est pas à prendre à la lettre car ce n’est pas une loi, c’est une orientation, un idéal hors prise, un conseil ou une révélation d’impuissance, une dynamique, une utopie, une prophétie du Royaume encore à venir, une éthique d’intention, d’intérim, de devenir… Oui mais seulement à titre individuel et interpersonnel, car la non-violence serait de l’irresponsabilité en politique.

Déployées au fil des siècles, ces limitations de la portée du texte évangélique s’abouchent toutes à une compréhension passive de la non-violence. Entre le IV^e et le XX^e siècles, les multiples interprétations se critiquent entre elles mais sans jamais penser à interroger le postulat sur lequel elles reposent ensemble : la cinquième antithèse du SM nous inviterait à supporter l’injustice et à renoncer à nos droits personnels, par amour de l’ennemi. Comprise en termes d’abnégation et de don sacrificiel de sa vie, la non-violence évangélique a ainsi été élevée au rang d’acte héroïque relevant d’une vocation exceptionnelle. Il y a un revers à la médaille : cette non-résistance ne peut servir de norme en société car face à l’agresseur sans scrupules, la grandeur d’âme ne suffit pas, la faiblesse favorise les abus de pouvoir. Aussi le droit naturel de légitime défense doit-il limiter la portée de Mt 5,38-42, le devoir d’assistance et de protection des victimes doit primer sur le témoignage non-violent, certes exemplaire et prophétique mais nécessairement isolé. Appliqués collectivement, les préceptes de la joue tendue, du manteau laissé et des mille pas mettraient fin à l’État de droit, soit en conduisant la société à l’anarchie, soit en attirant l’envahisseur étranger et le joug de tyrans.

Telle est l’interprétation traditionnelle. Cependant, en contredisant le caractère passif de la non-violence à la base de tout cet édifice, on le transforme de fond en comble. Dans la justice surabondante du Royaume, nous sommes tous frères en Christ, fils et filles d’un même Père. Les versets 39b à 41 de Mt 5 mettent en scène trois situations qui défigurent ce projet de Dieu, trois exemples de domination injuste, tour à tour sociale, économique et politique. À chaque fois, Jésus demande à l’inférieur de refuser la passivité. Il le met par ailleurs en garde de tomber dans le piège de la riposte violente. Celle-ci entraînera une escalade, à moins d’offrir au plus fort l’occasion de renforcer l’ordre établi à son avantage. Jésus invite celui qui subit à prendre une initiative qui met des bâtons dans les roues de l’oppression, sans s’attaquer à l’interlocuteur. Se jouent là quatre opérations distinctes mais qu’il faut faire tenir ensemble :

1) ne pas riposter par la violence, mais 2) briser le rapport de domination, redresser l’injustice objective ET 3) aimer celui qui profite de celle-ci, toucher sa conscience, 4) ne pas démissionner, empêcher l’autre de tirer profit de ses abus de pouvoir et de position. En schéma :

Ni résister par des moyens  violents

Et résister au mal, se battre avec détermination pour faire tomber l’injustice

Et aimer l’ennemi Respecter profondément toutes les personnes impliquées

Ni capituler,  subir pas-sivement

Il s’agit d’apprendre comment disqualifier la loi et le droit du plus fort (colonnes 1 et 4) et comment déployer la force de la loi et du droit (colonne 2), combinée à la force de l’amour (colonne 3).

Dans cette perspective, tendre la joue n’a rien de masochiste. Pour trouver la répartie et mettre en œuvre la parade qui barrent la domination tout en augmentant l’humanité des protagonistes, il faut faire appel au meilleur de notre intelligence et de notre volonté. Accompagner mille pas de plus l’oppresseur est une démarche à la fois saine et sainte, profondément digne de notre humanité et à l’image de notre filiation divine, à la mesure de nos ressources humaines pour gérer nos conflits et à la démesure de l’Amour. Cette non-violence là n’est pas une option individuelle pour vocation isolée et exceptionnelle. Inscrite au cœur de l’Évangile, elle est la norme pour tous. Mt 5,38-42 « est l’habit de tous les jours des citoyens du Royaume de Dieu » (Leonahrd Ragaz). La Tradition est convaincue d’offrir à la non-violence la meilleure part possible en la plaçant sous l’ombre de la croix. Pourtant, le placage d’une spiritualité du martyre sur Mt 5,38-42 l’a gravement desservi : on l’a habillé de l’aube dominicale et de la bure monastique. On a cru l’honorer en l’affublant de l’auréole des grands saints, en fait, on l’a relégué à la sacristie : « Messieurs les évêques, occupez-vous de vos oignons ! » lança l’Amiral de Joubert, chef d’État-major de la Marine, à Mgr Guy Riobé, évêque d’Orléans, dès que se fit plus incisive sa défense des objecteurs de conscience traînés au tribunal en 1973. Comprise de manière passive, la non-violence est désarticulée du devoir de défense : il y a d’un côté l’évangile du pardon allant même jusqu’à accepter l’injustice, de l’autre une défense si nécessaire violente, jugée efficace, responsable et réaliste. Oui à la non-violence évangélique MAIS pas dans toutes les situations. Ainsi, les forces de l’ordre « n’ont pas le droit de tendre la joue ». L’homme d’Église qui l’affirme dans un souci de réalisme politique, fait alors le grand écart avec l’Évangile, qu’il cherche malgré tout à sauver en se réclamant de l’autorité de saint Augustin : faute de pouvoir commander les actes, Mt 5,38-42 oriente les esprits, il reste valable à titre d’inspiration. À vrai dire, cette solution s’évapore à l’heure où il faut se défendre contre l’inique assaillant. En pleine guerre juste, Mt 5,38-42 est prié de se mettre en sourdine et de laisser les gens compétents mener les combats ! L’histoire atteste que la doctrine sur la légitime défense s’est développée non pas tant selon l’Évangile que malgré l’Évangile.

« Soit la résistance armée, soit la non-résistance miséricordieuse » enferme le problème dans un dilemme tronqué. « Et la résistance farouche, capable de mettre hors-jeu les coups de force, et l’amour de l’ennemi, refusant tout moyen qui le détruit » fait sortir de l’impasse. En réarticulant les compétences de justice et celles de l’amour, la non-violence active réconcilie l’esprit et la lettre de Mt 5,38-42. Jésus s’oppose non pas à la légitime défense mais à la violence dans la légitime défense. Entre les deux paradigmes, le débat ne porte pas sur la fin mais sur les moyens de défense : non seulement la finalité de défendre la justice mais même le recours à d’autres moyens que la riposte violente. Bien mieux que l’approche classique, la non-violence active parvient à « ne pas séparer les paroles de la Parole », pour reprendre la belle formule de Tillich. L’adoption du nouveau paradigme entraîne une véritable révolution copernicienne qui abandonne le point de départ apparemment sage et réaliste de la guerre juste, selon lequel la nécessité de contrer l’agression prime sur le témoignage de non-violence évangélique. Le défi est de faire aller de pair la non-violence qui aime l’ennemi (colonne 3) avec la stratégie de contrer les abus de pouvoir d’où qu’ils viennent (colonne 2), sans riposte armée (colonne 1) ni pacifisme irresponsable (colonne 4). Les faucons de la Realpolitik ne sont pas les seuls à pouvoir tenir compte des leçons impitoyables de l’Histoire sur la tragique faiblesse de l’agneau qui aiguise l’appétit du loup.

Un autre point qui reste à mieux prendre en compte dans ce renouvellement théologique est que l’Évangile provoque le changement dans un mouvement de bas en haut. En Mt 5,39b, Jésus s’adresse à l’esclave, en Mt 5,41, à celui dont le pays est asservi et qui est réquisitionné par les forces d’occupation pour porter leurs bagages. Aujourd’hui, que signifie tendre la joue pour le boy burkinabe à Abidjan, laisser son manteau pour le sans-terre brésilien et le chrétien pakistanais, paria intouchable de sa société, faire mille pas pour le Tibétain ?

L’enjeu n’est pas d’abord doctrinal car face aux violences, notre déficit n’est pas tant conceptuel que pratique : les préceptes de ne pas riposter et de tendre la joue sont tout aussi inutilisables à qui se fait agresser, que les principes de natation à celui qui tombe dans l’eau mais qui n’a jamais appris à nager. Leurs échecs n’invalident pas le principe, ils soulignent leur carence d’apprentissage. Aussi vrai que les hommes peuvent rester à la surface de l’eau, ils peuvent déjouer la violence sans eux-mêmes recourir à la violence. Le problème n’est finalement pas d’être d’accord avec le principe non-violent, d’y croire ou non; il est d’apprendre à tendre la joue, d’acquérir une méthode concrète par laquelle cette stratégie donne effectivement de meilleurs résultats que se battre physiquement ou fuir. Les militaires ne sont pas les seuls à avoir besoin d’entraînements et à être capables de grandement progresser! Tendre l’autre joue s’apprend au quotidien et commence à la maison. Un individu comme un peuple peut apprendre à mobiliser ses facultés et ses forces au bon endroit pour déjouer n’importe quel coup de force par le droit ET l’amour. La praticabilité de Mt 5,38-42 se décidera sur le terrain de nos engagements et non dans nos joutes doctrinales.

Notre époque est à la croisée des chemins. Sur les plans domestique et interpersonnel, le développement d’outils de négociation efficace (colonne 2) et de communication vraie (colonne 3) offre une alternative réellement probante à la force du bâton et à toute forme de violences de coercition, dont les menaces et les chantages (colonne 1). Je suis convaincu que c’est le point sur lequel vont faire le plus de progrès les générations qui nous suivent. Les gens du XXII^e siècle qualifieront probablement nos connaissances et nos pratiques en la matière de sous-développées ! Sur les plans étatique et international, depuis trois générations, les pays qui dirigent la planète n’ont plus connu de guerre armée sur leur sol. Ils peuvent ne plus subir le prix de la guerre s’ils payent le prix de la paix. Ils ont les moyens d’empêcher les guerres et de mettre hors-la-loi toute violation humaine, sans laxisme ni impunité (colonne 4). Ils doivent pour ce faire commencer par cesser d’abuser de leur propre pouvoir (colonne 1) et faire respecter les devoirs de justice (colonne 2) ET les droits des personnes (colonne 3).

Ces avancées humaines ouvrent les yeux des hommes de ce temps à une nouvelle lecture de Mt 5,38-42. Ce faisant, en sens inverse, ils découvrent le trésor de ces préceptes évangéliques, trésor enfoui depuis deux mille ans sous la vase des violences de l’Histoire. Après des siècles d’efforts ou de découragement devant une page de la Parole de Dieu apparemment impraticable, ils comprennent mieux en quoi elle peut non seulement « inspirer » mais encore concrètement guider la résolution de leurs conflits à tous les niveaux. Les progrès du temps et des consciences offrent une nouvelle paire de lunettes pour lire l’Évangile. Et en même temps, celui-ci, dès qu’il est traduit dans notre langue, parle et interpelle…

Combien de temps le nouveau paradigme mettra-t-il à renouveler les discours des théologiens et du Magistère ? Sans l’aval de ce dernier, Mt 5,38-42 restera abscons et muet pour des milliers de pasteurs et des millions de « fidèles ». Depuis un demi-siècle, à l’écoute des signes du temps (Mt 16,3), l’Église est en débat pour retravailler ses formulations en matière de « guerre juste ». Un des actuels défis de la théologie est d’articuler à nouveaux frais la non-violence évangélique et la responsabilité sociopolitique d’une défense « efficace ». À distance de tout pacifisme de démission (colonne 4), il me semble important, entre autres tâches, de nommer avec lucidité d’une part les actes qui relèvent de la force légitime (colonne 2), d’autre part ceux qui sont piégés par la violence (colonne 1), aussi juste soit leur cause. Les hommes du XXI^e siècle consacreront-ils tous les moyens qui existent pour suffisamment rendre effectifs les premiers et  mettre hors-jeu les seconds ?

L’Esprit de Jésus est à l’œuvre de tout côté. Dans les milieux militants de la non-violence active, certains ont quitté le sérail, déçus par les déclarations magistérielles attachées à l’ancien paradigme. D’autres continuent d’œuvrer pour que le trésor en Mt 5,38-42 devienne, par un accueil concret des chrétiens, « sel de la terre et lumière du monde » (Mt 5,13.14). La lampe de la non-violence authentiquement évangélique « arrive-t-elle pour être mise sous le boisseau ou sous le lit? N’est-ce pas pour être mise sur son support ? Car il n’y a rien de secret qui ne doive être mis au jour, et rien n’a été caché qui ne doive venir au grand jour. Si quelqu’un a des oreilles pour entendre, qu’il entende » (Mc 4,21-23). Mt 5,38-42 est encadré par cette parole (au v. 15) et par la conclusion du SM : « Tout homme qui entend les paroles que je viens de dire et les met en pratique, peut être comparé à un homme avisé qui a bâti sa maison sur le roc » (Mt 7, 24). La parole est aux actes, dans l’assurance que la Parole fait ce qu’elle dit et dit ce qu’elle fait.

Etienne Chomé [1]

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[1] Etienne Chomé est marié et père de quatre enfants. Il est membre de la Communauté du Chemin Neuf. Auteur d’une méthode novatrice qui articule une communication vraie et une négociation efficace pour mieux gérer nos conflits, il est le fondateur et le responsable de l’Ecole Internationale CommunicActions. Il est consultant en entreprises et professeur à l’Institut International  Lumen Vitae à Bruxelles. S’appuyant sur ses Maîtrises en sciences sociales et politiques, en philosophie et en théologie, il travaille à un doctorat sur les jeux de pouvoir.

We common say that: only ‘change’ is constant. However you know as much as I do how difficult it is to cope with change. More importantly to get your colleagues to change to live up with the ever-changing environment is the greatest challenge of most entrepreneurs and managers.

Reading the book written ‘BELIEFS  Pathways to health & wellbeing’ by Robert Dilts & two of my NLP tutors: Tim & Suzi  help me much to understand the concept of   ‘change’ and  gave me some practical tools to achieve ‘changes’ in me and others.

I have since an e-copy of the book and would be glad to share it with you. Read below an extract of the introduction to the book. You might be interested to know that Robert Dilts cured her mother’s breast cancer, which had reached a degree of metastasis, by changing her beliefs.

Would you now invest some time to document yourself on the power of ‘Change’?

My sincere wish is to make know this method of ‘BELIEFS CHANGE’ to attempt to alleviate the pains of the drug addicted population of our nation.

Change is a multilevel process . . .

We make changes in our environment;

Changes in our behaviors through which we interact with our environment;

Changes in our capabilities and the strategies by which we direct and guide our behavior;

Changes in our beliefs and value systems by which we motivate and reinforce our guidance systems and maps;

Changes in our identity of which we select the values and beliefs we live by;

Changes in our relationship to those things which are bigger than us, those things that most people would call the spiritual.

This book is about gaining more choices at a particular level of change—the level of beliefs. The purpose of this book is to provide conceptual and interactive tools necessary to understand and gain more choices within the belief systems that guide our behavior in the world around us.

I first began exploring the processes involved in changing beliefs in earnest when my mother had a recurrence of breast cancer in 1982 with a fairly wide degree of metastasis and a poor prognosis for recovery. It was in helping her on her dramatic and heroic road to recovery, elements of which are described in this book, that I became intimately associated with the effects of beliefs in relationship to a person’s health and in relationship to the other levels of

change involved in making complete and lasting behavioural change.

The first “Beliefs and Health” workshop was conducted in December, 1984. Most of the concepts and techniques described in this book are a result of that program, the

programs that have followed, and also of the work that I have done with particular individuals who were engaged in both life threatening and life transforming changes. While

the roots for the concepts and techniques presented in this book have reached widely and deeply, it draws most heavily on the principles and techniques of NeuroLinguistic Programming. The sources for the material in the book are primarily advanced NLP seminars in which the issue of

beliefs was being presented and dealt with as an advanced level skill.

The book is written in such a way that you can associate into being a participant in an actual workshop. Imagine that you are there, watching the demonstrations, listening

to the questions and answers, and participating in the discussions and exercises.

The primary purpose of the book is to provide the “how to’s” of belief change—although I hope you, as a reader, will find inspiration as well, within the concepts and examples

of the people that make up this book. I should also point out that this is such a rapidly

developing area in NLP that we already have enough updates and new techniques to fill a second volume. Thus I recommend that you approach this book as a way of expanding

your own beliefs about the possibilities and methods involved in the process of lasting change, as opposed to a simple description of techniques or procedures.

It was great watching Parag Khanna on TED mapping the future of countries. He published ‘The second world’ last year and talks with authority of current geopolitics.

Here is an interview he gave recently:

What is “The Second World” from the title of your book?

The “second world” is a swath of the world’s most strategic countries around the world that are located between or on the peripheries of the three dominant empires: America, the European Union, and China. These countries include: Ukraine, Turkey, Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Venezuela, Colombia, Brazil, Libya, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Malaysia, Indonesia, and others. Second world countries are the emerging markets, but we have to understand them more than just economically: they now hold the majority of the world’s reserves and a growing share of the total global economy, but they are also endowed with natural resources and are pursuing political agendas on their own. In every second world country I have heard people talk about how they will no longer be listening to the US but doing things “our own way.”

Europe is often portrayed in the U.S. as having an unsustainable socialist economy that will soon collapse under its own weight. You see it in a very different light.

Every day on the news we hear about how our own medicare and social security systems are under great stress and may collapse, so I’m dubious about such characterizations of Europe. At least their system works now and has for decades. Europeans are for more efficient in public management with far lower inequality – America has a great deal to learn from them.

Your view of Russia and its future is something I had never heard before. Would you talk a little about that?

There are two very different views on Russia today, pitting those who view its recent short-term resurgence as heralding its return as a superpower (or at least an energy superpower) versus those who see the underlying instability in almost all aspects of its governance and economy. It has poor technology, a crippled infrastructure, a dying and sick population, an authoritarian government, and a great deal more weaknesses which will prevent it from ever becoming a superpower again. It continues to face widespread unrest in its south, while it’s de-populating eastern zones are increasingly Chinese populated. It simply isn’t logical to look at Russia on the map, as gigantic as it is, and think of it as a truly single, coherent, unified country. The world map is always changing, and Russia, whose map changed drastically for the worse when the Soviet Union collapsed, will continue to suffer in the coming decades.

Where do India and Japan fit into your global view?

I see India and Japan as two powerful swing states, sort of the second geopolitical tier behind the “Big Three.” They are not superpowers (Japan no longer and India not yet), but they can be important balancers in determing whether America or China becomes more powerful in the Pacific Rim region. At present, both lean towards the US and are suspicious of China, yet at the same time both are integrating with China economically much faster than before. So it is a delicate and precarious situation, one that very much embodies the tension throughout my book between globalization and geopolitics. It’s not clear to anyone how it will play out.

Although the United States has, by far, the world’s most powerful military, you don’t seem to believe it is of much importance.

Given that we are batting .000 in our foreign policy objectives such as stabilizing Iraq, resurrecting Afghanistan, and countering global terrorism, the burden of proof really falls on those who believe military power is most important. Around the entire world what I see is Europe and China investing into and buying greater shares of foreign economies—and thus gaining significant political and even military leverage over them—at our expense. Power has to be a fair balance among a range of tools, including the military, in order to be used effectively. We’re not doing that now, and I don’t see a good strategy coming out of Washington as to how to do it better.

The big three—U.S., China and Europe—are all pursuing Central Asia with its huge oil and gas reserves. It also offers a textbook look at the different methodologies that each one uses to engage with the world.

Very much so. The U.S. is the geographically most distant player and has at best been able to establish very small forward bases in the region in countries like Kyrgyzstan and Afghanistan. But in the former Soviet republics, this presence is highly unstable: we were kicked off our base in Uzbekistan in 2005, and the same could happen at Manas in Kyrgyzstan. Europe has been investing more and more in the region and has been very tough on political conditionality, freezing the travel of Uzbek officials and so forth. China directly borders the region, so has been pursuing pipelines, roads and trade in tandem to boost its connections to the region. All three styles of diplomacy are at play and in competition with each other. Whether the future of the region will be a return to the Silk Road era or the “Great Game” era is what I try to answer in the book.

You write that economic well-being trumps ideology. Radical Islam, in the minds of most Americans, does not follow any norms of rational economic self-interest. Is our view distorted? How do you recommend we deal radical Islam and also the Middle East?

Our view is beyond distorted: it is itself more irrational than the people to whom we ascribe irrationality. Quite a few studies have shown that terrorists largely come from the middle class and are pursuing very clearly articulated political objectives of resisting authoritarian regimes and American-backed aggression. There is no one policy for the Middle East, nor is there even a “Middle East” in my book. There are Arabs, and among them there are North Africans who can be elevated through the economic and political efforts of the EU; then there is the Mashreq where we need to push for a re-arranging of the borders of states such as Israel, Palestine, Lebanon, Syria and Jordan so that populations and ethic groups are not so fragmented and divided, but also allowing them to integrate more peacefully with their neighbors. Radicalism would not go away even if we did, but it could be dealt with through more socio-economically oriented programs that are driven from the ground-up rather than through our outside interventions.

You’ve written about America decaying from within, particularly with its growing gap between the rich and poor. Can we even afford to be playing the Empire game? Is there any historical precedent for a country going into debt to a rival (in our case China) to fund its foreign wars?

Wars do of course often cause indebtedness, but indeed we are already there! The American government does not think in guns or butter terms though, so the rich-poor gap is not an effective argument against changing our foreign policies. Those who defend our current over-stretch will always say that the percentage of GDP spent on the military remains very low, which is true. I argue that playing the empire game is nothing less than playing the globalization game, which means we need to channel even more foreign investment into America, but steer it towards rebuilding our society and creating jobs.

Charles Krauthammer once wrote that “America’s purpose should be to steer the world away from its coming multipolar future toward a qualitatively new outcome — a unipolar world whose center is a confederated West.” It’s clear from your book that you disagree, but what are the long and short-term consequences of America pursuing this neoconservative ideology.

At present we are pursuing neither the course Krauthammer advocates nor the one I do! We have alienated Europe and accelerated its coalescence into an alternative pole of power within Western civilization. America and Europe will surely continue to partner on a great many things (trade, Afghanistan, Mideast issues, etc.), but that still ignores the fact that the East already is far too powerful for anyone to claim that the West alone would be the sole pole of power. In other words, Krauthammer’s vision is not only wrong, but it’s too late anyway. We need to do things that integrate East and West, not things that inspire the East to rise against the West.

In 2008, the Boston Consulting Group ran a lifestyle survey of 12,000 women in 22 countries. Their survey findings inform the conclusions in Women Want More, a book that details the burgeoning women’s consumer market. I have not read the book. Here is a book review which I picked up from the web.

Each chapter includes statistics, company stories, and anecdotes from individual women. Readers finish the book with an idea of how women behave as consumers, and how to gear their products for success in the female economy.

Authors: BCG Senior Partner Michael Silverstein, who wrote Trading Up (2003) and Treasure Hunt (2006). Co-written with BCG Partner Kate Sayre.

Recommended for: Corporate leaders and marketers who want to tap the growing women’s consumer products sector.

Background

Women comprise a huge potential market for companies. They control almost $12 trillion of the $18.4 trillion in worldwide consumer spending (65%). By 2028, they will control 72%. Over the next five years, they will gain $5 trillion in earned income. The result? A consumer market bigger than China and India.

That’s just the beginning. So far, 80% of unemployment growth has been male, making the term he-cession ring true. Women own 40% of US businesses—and that number is growing. Women make most of the household decisions about travel, cars, and electronics. Many control household finances.

With economic potential like that, companies need to think seriously about catering to discerning females. “Making it pink” just won’t work.

The Survey

After reviewing the results of their survey, the authors came up with some noteworthy findings. Some of it is familiar: People have either researched and concluded it before, or it sounds like common knowledge:

1) Most women are employed.

* 71% of US mothers are in the labor force (2006 stats)
* 56% have children under one year old (2006)

2) At the same time, women still do all the housework.

* 88% are responsible for grocery shopping
* 85% make all the family meals
* 84% do the laundry
* 84% do most of the housecleaning

3) As a result, they’re stressed.

* 47% say that demands on their time are the “big stress in their life”
* 45% don’t have enough time for themselves

4) Finally, in an unrelated vein of womanhood, they don’t feel skinny or pretty.

* 68% think they’re overweight
* 44% of women rarely or never feel beautiful

Sayre and Silverstein also uncover some tidbits that you may not have heard before:

* Women’s happiness, as correlated with age, is a V-shaped curve. That means women are happiest when they’re young and old, but not so much in between.

* Love, health, honesty, and well-being are the four most important values to women

* When asked what makes them extremely happy, women said:
1) Pets (42%)
2) Sex (27%)
3) Food (19%)

Sorry, guys.

The authors claim there are still a lot of first-mover advantages in the female market. Overall, women fell pressured for time and stressed. They’re constantly looking for products that meet their specific needs (unlike men, who are more loyal to brands). If you create a product that saves women time, feel in control of their finances, or offers other key features as defined in the book, you, too, can capture your piece of the femme pie.

Archetypes

To learn exactly how to address women’s needs, you need to consider the archetype your target market belongs to. The authors divide women into six archetypes. They’re based on economic class, age, and family status:

Fast tracker: 24% of population, 34% of earned income
College-educated, career-minded, makes a lot of money

Pressure cooker: 22% of the population, 23% of earned income
Middle-income, middle-aged, never enough time in the day

Relationship focused: 16% of the population, 13% of earned income
Young, single, adopting brands

Fulfilled empty nester: 15% of the population, 16% of earned income
Money in pocket, enough time, likes leisure and travel

Managing on her own: 10% of population, 9% earned income
Divorced/widowed, making a lot of decisions by herself

Making ends meet: 12% of the population, 5% of earned income
Low income, less education. Low-paying jobs or unemployed. Dissatisfied.

Companies need to understand exactly who they’re trying to serve, and refine from there.

Although the archetypes serve the purposes of this book well, they don’t take culture, lifestyle, and other important market aspects into consideration. They’re a starting point for companies, but not a definitive guide for defining a market segment.

Features of Each Chapter

After explaining the archetypes, the book explores different categories of products that women care about. Each chapter is devoted to a category. Food, fitness, beauty, and apparel make up the first four categories. Financial services and healthcare, which women perceive negatively, make up the next two.

The authors cover how women perceive each product category, how they spend their money on it, and how archetypes react to it. Quotes, statistics, and anecdotes about individual women add flavor to the chapter.

The authors also describe commercial opportunities in each category, illustrating them with major corporations that “got it right.” These include Whole Foods, Curves, Olay, Banana Republic, and several other large corporations.

Next, the book talks about women in low- and high-growth global economies. The former include Japan and Europe. The latter include BRIC, Mexico, and the Middle East. Readers learn more about the characteristics of women in those countries, and how to cater to them.

Before concluding the book, the authors detail women’s attitudes towards charity and giving.

Analysis

The book is well-written, even fun to read. The statistics, stories, and quotes in each story engage readers with the subject matter. Some topics might feel familiar—of course women don’t have enough time—but the book adds value to previous assumptions by going into specifics.

Sadly, several of the characters in the book aren’t original. One was sourced from Wikipedia; another came from a blog.. The authors have agreed to make revisions.

Also note that the book targets leaders of large, consumer-goods corporations (who might, incidentally, read the book and hire BCG consultants). It doesn’t go into depth with regards to service industries, outside of financial and healthcare services. It doesn’t give readers refined tips, or schedules on how to revise their product offerings. One assumes that’s where the consultants come in.

The book provides a general reminder to capture a growing market. It gives a deeper definition of who inhabits that market. And, as far as business books go, it is conventional. It covers established companies and brands. It does not mention burgeoning industries (eg. the green industry) or edgy innovations.

The material is in-the-box and focused on big companies. Undoubtedly, that serves a purpose. Just know that the business wisdom within won’t push many boundaries.

In sum: Useful and fun to read, but not groundbreaking.

La Fondation Chirac a décerné un prix le 6 Novembre a deux adversaires nigériennes qui pendant une décennie ont été en opposition pour une question de religion.

Le Prix pour la prévention des conflits récompense, pour sa part, l’Imam Mohammed Ashafa et le Pasteur James Wuye. Tous deux, anciens adversaires dans un antagonisme militant, ont su remettre en cause le recours à la violence pour se consacrer à la réconciliation des cœurs et des esprits, dans un Nigeria traversé par les fractures religieuses et ethniques.

Le dialogue qu’ils ont engagé depuis plusieurs années  continue de produire ses fruits et nous montre la voie.

N’est ce pas formidable ?

Imam Muhammad Ashafa and Pastor James Wuye are religious leaders who live in Kaduna, a city in northern Nigeria.  Today, they work together to teach warring religious youth militias to resolve their conflicts peacefully.  But they did not start out as peacemakers.  Ten years ago, Imam Ashafa and Pastor James were mortal enemies, intent on killing one another in the name of religion.  In 1995, Ashafa and Wuye formed the Interfaith Mediation Centre, a religious grass- roots organization that has successfully mediated between Christians and Muslims throughout Nigeria. Together, Imam Ashafa and Pastor James demonstrate extraordinary courage and dedication every day.  Through their commitment to dialogue with their adversaries, and using religion as a resource, they leave us with a compelling example of what it takes to achieve peace and coexistence.

It is through NLP, a cognitive behavioural science that I became very interested with learning. Was it a return to an old project? Deep inside myself I had some inner wish to become teacher. I recalled whilst I was in my early adult hood, I spent some time seriously considering a career in teaching. I dropped the idea after some time. Yet my urge for teaching has not subsided. Much later in my career, circumstances prompted me to exercise my talents as a facilitator/ teacher. After my training with the Covey Leadership Center to become a certified Covey trainer and the advent of the IVTB program encouraging businesses to train employees, I found a niche. Looking back to the numerous Covey seminars I facilitated, I could only rejoice. I had hopefully help out a number of persons and arouse in them the need to continuous learning.

The world of learning is taking forms that never before were imaged. Teaching should not be the focus. Learning is the centre piece.

And now with WEB 2.0, we are in the realm of Social Learning.  Albert Bandura is a Canadian born most cited  psychologists  behind Freud, Piaget, and Eysenck and is still living.

Social Learning Theory (Bandura)

People learn through observing others’ behavior, attitudes, and outcomes of those behaviors. “Most human behavior is learned observationally through modeling: from observing others, one forms an idea of how new behaviors are performed, and on later occasions this coded information serves as a guide for action.” (Bandura). Social learning theory explains human behavior in terms of continuous reciprocal interaction between cognitive, behavioral, and environmental influences.

Necessary conditions for effective modeling:

1. Attention — various factors increase or decrease the amount of attention paid. Includes distinctiveness, affective valence, prevalence, complexity, functional value. One’s characteristics (e.g. sensory capacities, arousal level, perceptual set, past reinforcement) affect attention.
2. Retention — remembering what you paid attention to. Includes symbolic coding, mental images, cognitive organization, symbolic rehearsal, motor rehearsal
3. Reproduction — reproducing the image. Including physical capabilities, and self-observation of reproduction.
4. Motivation — having a good reason to imitate. Includes motives such as past (i.e. traditional behaviorism), promised (imagined incentives) and vicarious (seeing and recalling the reinforced model)

Bandura believed in “reciprocal determinism”, that is, the world and a person’s behavior cause each other, while behaviorism essentially states that one’s environment causes one’s behavior, Bandura, who was studying adolescent aggression, found this too simplistic, and so in addition he suggested that behavior causes environment as well. Later, Bandura soon considered personality as an interaction between three components: the environment, behavior, and one’s psychological processes (one’s ability to entertain images in minds and language).

Social learning theory has sometimes been called a bridge between behaviorist and cognitive learning theories because it encompasses attention, memory, and motivation. The theory is related to Vygotsky’s social development theory and Lave’s learning theories, which also emphasize the importance of social learning.

I have been in admiration with Disney ever since the first time I set foot on Disney Land in California in the very early 80’s. The quality of service and the settings of the place were absolutely stunning. In terms of entertainment nothing in the world can match Disney.

I came to know a fairly bit of the mode of operation of Disney when I attended a training seminar with Ansett Airlines of Australia in the early 90’s. The training was given by a subsidiary company of Disney, specialised in the concept of Fun Learning.

Down in Melbourne where Ansett was headquartered, the whole world wide organisation went through a 2 day program to know better Ansett and more importantly to understand the concept of team work within Ansett. It was just before the company went on a public listing on the stock market. The training company commissioned a theatre for six months and set up the place to give you the feeling of a Fun as if you were at a Disney entertainment park where we all had fun whilst learning. I was really amazed with the lessons I learnt whilst enjoying with fun and laughter…

I recall very clearly as I was impressed. To show us the need to play in tune with the organisation, we were assembled in the theatre and each of us was assigned a musical instrument:

1. An analogy to the company where each individual has a specific role as in an orchestra.

2. Each role has to be played to the best of our capability whilst respecting the music score.

3. To perform the best music, in respecting the beat, timing, volume, intensity etc.

4. Each musician whilst playing his own score has to be aware of the harmony of the orchestra.

Reading the profile of Lenn Millbower, today I can only suspect that he was involved with setting up similar learning seminars.

Lenn Millbower has coined his present business after working for years with Disney: Learnertaiment.

From Disney training leader to published author, from musician-magician to college professor, Lenn’s lauded Learnertainment® techniques have taught more than 1 million business leaders, trainers, educators and presenters how to keep their audience ‘awake so their message can take’.

Using the secrets of show biz, Lenn’s interactive brain-based entertainment-fused learning events, e training coaching system, open enrollment workshops, and keynote presentations Lenn can help you and your organization deliver the interactivity your audience wants and the results your organization needs.

His published works – including the CLOUT Creator Inventory©, Show Biz Training and Training With A Beat – have been used by instructional designers, trainers, educators, and speakers throughout the world to design and deliver five-star Oscar worthy learning programs.

On the other hand the creativity of Walt Disney himself is awesome. In NLP we have a special chapter where we study the creativity strategy of Walt Disney.

Frequent professional speaker at ASTD ICE, NSA, MPI, IAL, and other national events; workshop leader for Offbeat Training seminars including the Learnertainment® Skills Development Lab, From Out to CLOUTâ„¢, Learning With A Beatâ„¢, That’s Learnertainmentâ„¢, Razzle Dazzle Designâ„¢, Cultivate Your Creativity, and Business Brainstormâ„¢; and author of The CLOUT Creator Inventory©, Training With A Beat, Show Biz Training, Cartoons for Training, Game Show Themes for Trainers.

I have been watching an hour long youtube presentation on persuasion by the author of The Art of Woo: G. Richard Shell. Woo with integrity was his last chapter!

This reminded me of an article from Daniel Williams on a similar note which I had kept to read once in a while.

Today leaders must cut through the clutter, focus their leadership agenda, and endlessly persuade.

What do you think is the most needed leadership skill in the digital economy? A top priority should be communicating your leadership agenda. Why? Because business leaders are under enormous pressure to sell their corporate strategies to their best customers, employees, and partners—just to retain them. In an economic downturn, communication and influence skills only increase in importance.

In my experience, the best leaders use a thoughtful and systematic approach to communicating their leadership agenda. These leaders master six skills.

• Listen. Your leadership team has forged a new strategic direction. Now it’s time to execute. But before you do, you must listen, to yourself. Start with some inward reflection. Think through what you want to say and why. Once you have found your authentic voice, listen to others. Test your arguments and explore new ideas. Far from being dogmatic or arrogant, the best communicators learn about the people they hope to influence, their needs, aspirations, and concerns.
• Prepare. Influencing requires careful preparation and planning. Take time to research and develop your ideas. Think through an influence strategy before you start communicating. Don’t go straight from inspiration to communication without preparation and testing.
• Align your messages strategically. Remember, everything you say and do sends a message: Your passion, the clarity of your ideas, your policies and business practices, the structure of your organization, who makes decisions, who gets promoted, who gets fired, and media relations to the press and analysts. The best communicators ensure that all their messages—whether formal (corporate speak), organizational (policies and practices), or personal (what you say)—are aligned with their core business strategies, personal values, and behavior.
• Feel passionate. Pursue the ideas and values you feel passionate about. Communicate that passion to others. If you don’t, you will never connect emotionally with your audience and win them over to a shared vision and course of action. The best leaders draw upon their emotions to get buy-in. They understand that peoples’ hearts and souls are often greater motivators than pure reason alone.
• Use vivid language and compelling stories. To influence, you must position your arguments and present vivid supporting evidence. As one executive said, “There’s just as much strategy in how you present your position as in the position itself.” Use graphics to enhance your message. And tell a story. Story telling is a powerful tool in a leader’s literary basket.
• Influence continually. Seldom will you win over all the critical stakeholders to your leadership agenda in the first try. Rapid communication can never replace a systematic and thoughtful approach to winning people over to your agenda. The best leaders view influencing as an ongoing process that is linked to a larger strategy for change. Persuasion often demands listening to the people you are trying to influence, testing your message, incorporating feedback, developing new messages, retesting, making compromises, and then trying again. Yes, this process can be time-consuming and difficult. But the credibility and influence you gain will make it worth your while.

Last night, I spent two hours listening to the recordings I took during the eye opening seminar I attended by a Philosopher. The material was so dense that I had to stop the recording on and off to reflect thereon. I then mentally reassess my position in the light of Bertrand Vergely point of view. By so doing, I found that by using an ‘observer’ perceptual position, I could better judge the position to take, in melting some of the good sense that Bertrand Vergely was driving to some of my own convictions. I totally adhere to the thesis of Bertrand Vergely on Primary Intelligence (reptilian) and Creative Intelligence which was for me a new way of defining the type of intelligence.

Today whilst reading, an article of coaching it was suggested that one could be one’s own coach by imagination and the use of our creative intelligence. In NLP, we call this the ‘what if’ frame. This is at least how Marshall Goldsmith & Patricia Wheeler start off their script on Coaching.

The best coaching advice you’ll ever receive in life comes from a wise old person. Listen carefully:

First, take a deep breath. Now, imagine that you are 95 years old and about to die. Before you take your last breath, you are given a wonderful, beautiful gift: the ability to travel back in time and talk with the person you are today. The 95-year-old you has the chance to help the you of today to have a great career and a great life.

The 95-year-old you knows what was really important and what wasn’t; what really mattered and what didn’t; what really counted and what didn’t count at all. What advice does the wise “old you” have for you? Take your time. Jot down the answers on two levels: personal advice and professional advice. And once you write down these words, take them to heart.

In a world of performance appraisals, this may well be the one that matters most. At the end of life, if the old you thinks that you did the right thing, you probably did. If the old you thinks that you screwed up, you probably did. At the end of life, you don’t have to impress anyone else—just the person you see in the mirror.

Four Recurring Themes

When a friend once talked with old people facing death and asked them what advice they would have given themselves, their answers were filled with wisdom—and four themes:

1. Take time to reflect on life and find happiness and meaning now. A frequent comment runs along these lines: “I got so wrapped up in looking at what I didn’t have that I missed what I did have. I had almost everything. I wish I had taken more time to appreciate it.”

2. Look to the present. The great disease of “I will be happy when…” is sweeping the world. You know the symptoms. You start thinking: I’ll be happy when I get that . . . BMW . . . promotion . . . status . . . money. The only way to cure the disease is to find happiness and meaning now.

3. Don’t get so lost in pleasing the people who don’t care that you neglect the people who do—your friends and family. You may work for a wonderful company and believe that your contribution is important. But when you’re 95 and on your death bed, very few of your fellow employees will be waving goodbye! Your friends and family will likely be the only people who care.

4. Give it a try—follow your dreams. Older people who tried to achieve their dreams were happier with their lives. None of us will ever achieve all of our dreams. If we do, we will just make up new ones! If we go for it, we can at least say at the end, “I tried!” instead of, “Why didn’t I at least try?”

When we interview high-potential leaders worldwide and ask them: “If you stay in this company, why will you stay?”, we hear the same answers: “I’m finding meaning and happiness now.” “The work is exciting, and I love what I am doing.” “I like the people here. They are my friends. This feels like a team—like a family. I might make more money if I left, but I don’t want to leave the people here.” “I can follow my dreams. This organization gives me the chance to grow and do what I really want to do in life.”

To make a new beginning in life or in your leadership, look ahead to the end and then decide what to do.

Growing Into Success

Why do some people reach their creative potential early while equally talented peers don’t? We’ve all seen the near-misses: people who have talent to spare but never quite make it; and those, like the tortoise in Aesop’s fable, who enjoy eventual success that once seemed out of reach to most observers.

If you believe you are born with all the smarts and gifts you’ll ever have, you tend to approach life with a fixed mind-set. However, those who believe that their abilities can expand over time live with a growth mind-set—and they’re much more innovative.

As coaches, we encounter people who have a stellar track record, off-the-chart IQ, great technical expertise, and a track history of success—but who then reach a career plateau. In contrast, we work with individuals who, despite a rather pedestrian early track record, lack of Ivy League pedigree, surpass those who appear to be the “chosen ones.” How does this happen—and what can you do about it?

This is good news for those who do not grow up feeling chosen or special. Feeling much more like the tortoise than the hare, you may stumble along while others seem to sail through life easily and successfully—or so it seems.

In reality, the pampered and pedigreed are often the ones who stumble, due to adopting a fixed mindset. We’ve all seen folks who were tapped as stars early in life. Cheered on by doting, praise-lavishing parents, they develop the sense that their talents are God-given qualities that they can count on for future success.

What’s the problem with this? They feel entitled to succeed and become risk-avoidant, fearing the embarrassment of failure. They deal with obstacles by giving up, feigning disinterest or blaming others. Or, having enjoyed so many early wins, they keep on doing what made them successful, despite all the changes around them—not a great recipe for ongoing success.

Mark was a bright, results-oriented VP in his company and yet he offended his peers with his brusque style and impatience. His manager doubted that he could, or would, change. And Mark had no patience with fluff. He needed a clear business case for making any behavior change. Once he understood that listening more and increasing his patience would lead to better buy-in from others and improve his department’s product, he embraced the change enthusiastically. Mark implemented his development plan diligently with great results—to the astonishment of his manager.

What propelled Mark’s progress? He embraced a mindset of growth. Never a natural star or charismatic presence, he’s a regular guy who approached challenges with curiosity and saw roadblocks as signs that he needed to change strategy, increase effort, stretch himself, or try new behaviors (high emotional intelligence).

In our early meetings, Mark took a learner’s approach to his 360-degree feedback. Although surprised with the negatives, he didn’t deflect or blame his stakeholders. Although a very private man, he faced his fear of disclosing more about himself to others to enhance his leadership. In other words, he embraced the possible.

You can adopt an attitude that enables you to grow and change.

First, listen to yourself—to the internal music and lyrics that you hear inside your head? Are you telling yourself to give up? That your challenges are the fault of others, less wonderful, less “enlightened” people? Or do you tell yourself that you can figure out what abilities you need to grow or stretch toward to succeed? These belief systems are the underpinning of the success—and failure—of many.

Second, create a regular time and space to reflect on who you are—your beliefs, your vision, your inner dialogue. This will be unfamiliar and uncomfortable for those who value speed and are used to a track record of stardom. My advice: do it anyway.

Third, find a partner to serve as “spotter” and dialogue partner as you grow. This could be a trusted colleague or an experienced executive coach. They’ll help you leverage your strengths and stay out of the way of your blind spots.

Recently, Mark described how he now observed patterns in meetings. “Now that I know myself better,” he said, “I see how other people use different behaviors to manage stress. I’m less impatient with them because I know what they’re trying to do, and I don’t let it get to me.” In fact, Mark now uses his new knowledge in developing and mentoring others. His department is delivering results more effectively, and other leaders are asking him and his team to participate in highly visible and strategic projects.

So what started out as a simple self-improvement project by an ordinary guy has turned into a big win for his company—largely because he has a mindset of growth.